A wiz watchin a war film the other day an a sees this helicopter wi a name oan the front sayin "Death from above".
So ah gits tae thinkin aboot oor death fi above in the shape oh a water filled blimp an a boy whae owned the local chippie. Me an Arkos hud been fuckin aboot wi wee baloons filled wi water. e wid wait at oor 4th flare tenement windae fur somebody tae walk past underneath. Up tae this time wi hud only managed tae hit the mongo whae lived in oor street.
If ye wir quick ye could aim, drop, hit an duck back in the windae withoot gittin caught.
It wiz gittin a bit boarin so wi decided tae go fur gold.
Wi goat oorsels a "blimp" balloon. Man wiz it big!. It looked a bit like King Kongs flunkie effter he hud been shaggin wi it fur a week. So wi takes it intae the lavvy an wi start running water intae it. Noo this thing is gettin fuckin heavy, me an Arkos cannie really hold it nae mair so wi tie a knot in the neck an wi huv tae roll it through the hall tae the livvin room windae. If the fuckin thing hud burst noo, the wummin doon stairs wud huv been oh hands tae the pumps an Arkos an me widnae huv been able tae walk fur a week.
So wi git intae the bombers position an wi roll the blimp up the wall ontae the windae ledge. So far sae good its still in one piece, but no fur long.
Ahm in the bombers seat coz Arkos is a bit worried, ah couldnae help masell coz if ye telt me thit ye dare me tae dae somethin then am oaf like a fuckin shoat!
Ave seen the newsreels oh the bomb aimers in the war so ah ken whit am up tae. Ah poak ma heid oot he windae past the blimp an take stock oh whits goin oan. Well wid ye credit it. A Jag hus jist pulled up an oot gits the boy whae owns the local chippie. If this wiz war time this wid be a prime target, a ball bearing factory or an ammo dump if ye kenn whit ah mean!
So hes oot the car, dressed in ees best duds inaw, silk suit, brown loafers an a camel hair crombie he looks a bit like yon Fanucci boy fae Godfather 2.
Now if the gadgie hud been tacticaly aware he wud huv noticed oor earlier atempts which appeared as water come bomb craters oan the pavement. He wuz nain the wiser. Noo he made ees next mistake. he stoaps in oor line oh sight an pulls oot a cuban cigar an hes in the process oh lightin up.
Well ah seen ma windae oh opportunity, ah took careful aim, judged the wind direction counted tae 5 an let rip, bombs away.Ah can still see this huge blimp tumbilin through the clear air fae four flairs up. it wiz like slow motion.
Thir wiz a huge crack as the blimp hit um square oan the heid! Hes knees buckled wi the weight but he stood hes ground. Ah cannie resist gettin some intelligence oan the damage tae the target, an ma partner in crime Arkos hus tae uv a deek anaw. Yur man is standin there wi hiz legs wide apart the cuban is stillin hes mooth but its no burnin, hes duds ur soakt an he looks a bit dizzy anaw coz hes swayin. He starts tae glance up but me n Arkos ur practiced at this game an we ur aff intae the livin room mission accomplished.
The last memory ahve goat o him is the picture oh the gadgie swayin doon the road drippin wet cigar still in hes mooth wonderin what the fuck happened.
We didnae git caught this time but the mission success wiz short lived ah wiz caught bi flac fae a bearded studenty gadgie coz ah sprayed hes washin but thats another story.
Ah wiz eatin an icepole the other day an ah strted tae think aboot hot days an cool sweetis fae oor day at the High Wall.
