Aye the last entry aboot haircutting brought to mind the subject of "flunkeys"
Condoms, Rubbers, Rubber Johnnys, prophylactics, Durex, are more common terms, but we lads knew them as flunkeys.
Irvine Welsh uses the term in "Trainspotting" which may be the only useage of the word in the history of the written English language.
"Spunk bags" was another name for them.
As the South side had a big student population you used to find used flunkeys lying around the Meadows area and they were often poked with sticks. Like mystery items they were never fully understood at a young age, but if a used flunkey was found, word soon spread and boys would gather to have a wee deek at it and ponder it's origins like an Area 51 alien autopsy.
As you got older and had to buy flunkeys for your own use, you then realised how difficult it was to get a hold of them. Nowadays it's a scoosh, you practically get them free with the Dandy, back then you were skulking around full of embarassment. The barbers sold them, but you were not going to trust Ronnie or Bernie, your auld boy went to them for a haircut and they might grass you up.
Many a 50p was lost in the "Wine Glass" flunkey machine, and would you complain? Not a chance. I'm sure that auld bastard that ran the place was at the hurry up, preying on the vulnerability of horny young 1970's lads. These days it would be a case of "Hey ya radge I just put £2 in your shitey condom machine and got fuck all, git it sorted cos I'm on ma hole, and dinnae gie me any pish cos I know my consumer rights and I will have a Watchdog camera crew round here toot suite"
Changed days indeed.
JOHNNY JOHNNY !!!
3 comments:
I yer right there Flunkeys were a strange contraption for a High wall young Turk. If nobody had told us before the first use of such things, we would have been trying to get the cock and the balls into the Flunkey! How else was it meant to stay on? Nae straps or strings. Good that they show ye how tae use them in School nowadays or they wid be puttin thum oan thir hied and ah dont mean the wee hied!
D'ya no agree tht Protex Blue woulda been even better if Joe had yelped "Flunkey flunkey!" at the end?
Post a Comment